& words

herobound:

But LADY LUCK, what about you?

I’m w8ing for the right villain. I’m a troll, this means something to us. You can’t just enter a rivalry with any old asshole! You have to hold out for someone who really yanks your heroic frond. In fact, I don’t hold out much hope I’ll ever meet someone who’d 8e as villainous as I could get. You know. If I had 8een or ever would 8e a villain.
 
Which I wasn’t.
 
it’s not like she hasn’t had plenty of dark admirers, ha ha.
 
8eating them off with a stick!
 
we beat them all off.
 
It’s getting major-league dum8, stupid and 8oring, though. Like, last week the Failen tried to send me a ransom note for the guy who runs my laundromat. Seriously? Seriously???????? Damn! You are desper8 as well as pathetic.

You mean THE FALLEN?

does anyone actually call him that?
 
The guy is a misera8le fucking em8arrassment to villainy. I have shit 8etter villains. Fact! Can I say that in an interview? Too 8ad, 8ecause I just did.
 
lady, you can’t say that in front of kids.
 
Kids, I just taught you how to spell fuck! Thank me l8er.
 
anyway, he shouldn’t have picked a name that’s something you do down stairs.

I’ll talk to my editors about it. That aside, there’s plenty of up-and-coming villains around that aren’t THE FALLEN, as well as some pretty good established creeps. Just off the top of my head, what about SELF-INSERT?

Wow, no! I could never hurt that impecca8le creature.
 
she and i dated once. but, uh, we had to break it off, because she is a sweet, lovely, caring lady, and i just couldn’t be the person she needed or give her the love that those gaping wounds of her past needed to heal. self-insert, if you’re reading this, you are all class and i will never forget you.
 
Turns out we were 8oth d8ing her at the same time. Awkwaaaaaaaard.